Where I have been

I am home. Drove almost 4000 miles due to bad weather in 3 and a half days. I can't say I feel any comfort laying here, other than I escaped a tragic ending of either the man  I was living with who abused me from day one and I could never tell anyone about, or the fact I tried to take my own life last week and ended myself in a prison like facility.

I have quit my " adult " jobs, and am on a diet for life. My mother has gone over and beyond what a mother should do, but has set goals to help grab me from this vegetative state I have been in, and is giving me motive to want to live happy and long. I am no longer allowed on thedirty.com, after telling her how in depth it had eaten at my world and the words that had hurt me she realized it was unhealthy, no more spurs either, too many triggers to a mental break down that stand close.

I told her the names I have been called, and this is after I confessed what I had been doing for a living, she said anyone who could speak to me that way stranger or no stranger, is not a person at all.

I am going into heavy psychiatric help next week that will continue, and am finding a job that consists of clothes, and once I have worked for a month or two, getting back to college.

I am very thankful I am alive, and as morbid as this sounds, it might have been a cry for help but once the first ten pills set in and my body began to go numb is when I thought it was meant to be and took the rest. Call it a cry, call it real, I call it a wake up call.

I will only write about meaningful things on here on out, and hate to inform you but my twitter is permenantly deleted as my myspace. This is my life, and I am going to do it right.


... Here is to change...