Happy Halloween ! And an update on me

Life is looking up for me! Well, so I think because I am staying true to the good side of life and well being. It has been almost three weeks from returning home and I am very thankful for all I have been given. Other than strep throat, and now a cold, I have been doing so good. Its such a blessing to see all of my friends for the first time in months, the ones I shut out in my dark stage they are all so forgiving and make me Thank God everyday for them to be so bright in my life and supportive. I have become 100% detoxed of the dirty life I was living and also thank God for that, I could have tried to and shouldn't have ended up dead the roads I was taking. It has been three weeks, in one I can say a month - and I am healing and becoming the girl I knew a year ago. Who knows why we change and become spiteful creatures with pain and suffering we spawn into livings, and mistakes but we do. God gives us chances to make up for what wrongs we have made and fix ourselves with the help of others. To my family and friends, you are my halo's and I love you all!. I started my job today, my first day at my new job that pays not so much =), I am working in an art studio helping families, and children paint, and within time will be holding my own art classes to teach painting and hopefully landed the gig of thanksgiving and will be the instructor with the children who come in to make mementos for there relatives, not anyone who would read this would really know I have been involved in art since the age of four =). This job is also a great stepping stone for me, any art class I so choose to learn the technique of they pay for and will sponsor me to teach. I am so very thankful for all of the chances I am being given, and the evils I have let go of. Here are some photo's of me and my best friend who I love to pieces Marvin at the pumpkin patch! have a safe Halloween all

- Pamela.

360

360 turn 

Run in a circle it will bite us when we return if we don't take the right roads, and we can't help but rotate to where we began, and can't help but see the demons we allowed into our lives.


Walk the roads, but we - I, shall make more sensible decisions - the road could be a horrible thing and end to early, so thank you my full circle for waking me up.

Love others, and love shall come in.

Where I have been

I am home. Drove almost 4000 miles due to bad weather in 3 and a half days. I can't say I feel any comfort laying here, other than I escaped a tragic ending of either the man  I was living with who abused me from day one and I could never tell anyone about, or the fact I tried to take my own life last week and ended myself in a prison like facility.

I have quit my " adult " jobs, and am on a diet for life. My mother has gone over and beyond what a mother should do, but has set goals to help grab me from this vegetative state I have been in, and is giving me motive to want to live happy and long. I am no longer allowed on thedirty.com, after telling her how in depth it had eaten at my world and the words that had hurt me she realized it was unhealthy, no more spurs either, too many triggers to a mental break down that stand close.

I told her the names I have been called, and this is after I confessed what I had been doing for a living, she said anyone who could speak to me that way stranger or no stranger, is not a person at all.

I am going into heavy psychiatric help next week that will continue, and am finding a job that consists of clothes, and once I have worked for a month or two, getting back to college.

I am very thankful I am alive, and as morbid as this sounds, it might have been a cry for help but once the first ten pills set in and my body began to go numb is when I thought it was meant to be and took the rest. Call it a cry, call it real, I call it a wake up call.

I will only write about meaningful things on here on out, and hate to inform you but my twitter is permenantly deleted as my myspace. This is my life, and I am going to do it right.


... Here is to change...

I know your reading this

You know who you are


I can't talk anymore of anyone other than the personality I have perfected that isn't me if  Iwant to get out of this alive


I care.



Goodbye